Category: Writers Block
WAR
A golden sunrise in an azure sky,
The purple shadows of night depart,
Ageless trees with their canopy of green,
Slender slivers of golden sunshine,
Pierce this peaceful greenness.
An Emerald butterfly,
A robin with breast of ruby red,
The vibrant hummingbird and its unending quest for nectar,
The proud deer with antlers spread,
A tiny clearing with fairy-white mushrooms,
The forest is waiting.
Dreary grey buildings of stone,
Black machines of destruction,
The fiery explosions of bombs,
A river of red flows across the carpet of green,
People die.
The green forest is no more,
The red robin has fled in terror,
The butterfly lies,
Its faded and broken,
The fairy clearing lies blackened and barren,
Death fills this place of sadness.
We humans fight for unexplained reasons,
The colors of our skin,
The preference to religion,
We are all people of the rainbow,
We must learn or be like those who have come before,
Like Hiroshima.
Slowly, the forest is growing again.
Very true unfortunately.
I like the vivid descriptions of the forest inhabited by everyday wildlife, then destroyed by humans. Nice transition.
very good, but I think a little unbalanced. the first part was good, but then the second part, which was the mina theme, I thaught lacked detail. You gave such vivid detail to the forest before hand, and then nothing afterward. I suppose you could call it symbollic if you wanted. I just think the war part of the poem should have had more, being the main theme of the poem.
Othewise, very good.
This one I was trying to fix and hadn't quite got it there yet, so I put it up, but am still working on it. Thanks for the feedback.
My god1 This is absolutely right1 You did well, my friend. Never stop writing. Your voice carries.